How do I know if I'm ready to dig into Shadow Work?
Wondering if you’re ready for shadow work?
It’s a question that comes up often that even more often goes unspoken and yet its written all over people’s faces (yes, you should hear the song “It’s Written All Over Your Face” in your head right now LOL). And the truth is, there is no magical place you get to that signals you’re ready. You either just know it in your body, or, you’re over the bullshit and will try anything to get some different outcomes. Shadow work is often positioned as an intimidating journey to begin…
Beginning to work on your personal healing can feel like a daunting task…
And I totally get it. If it’s in the shadows you kind of want to leave it there. No one wants to open up an emotional can of worms on themselves not knowing what’s inside. You’ve never done it so you might have all kinds of reasons why not to do it. But let’s talk about all the reasons you absolutely need to do shadow work.
Working on self-healing means you can have better relationships with others. You’ll also be better equipped to give and receive support from others. If you’ve been feeling like you’re ready explore what it truly means to create and be a part of an interdependent and supportive community, then your time is now!
To help you move forward on your path toward healing, I’m offering you some ways to know that you are ready to do shadow work for your own evolution and self-exploration.
That way you can focus on fostering the kind of community you’ve always wanted to be a part of without allowing your past hurts to get in the way. And just in case you’re not ready today, you’ll know what you need to know when that moment comes!
Let’s do this!
Ok so let’s be clear for a second…
Only you know when you’re ready to embark on your personal shadow work journey for healing. But if you’ve been feeling a need to evolve and grow and feel ready for a new chapter of your life, then you are very likely ready. You’re probably way more ready than you think you are. And you have the benefit of choosing to start this work instead of being dumped into the deep end and having to do the work to come up for air (yep, that was my experience, and I’d like it to not be yours).
To give you a bit more clarity, here’s some info on a few tell-tale signs that you’re ready to dive into doing shadow work.
Sign #1: You want to be more visible and share your stories.
Has someone suggested you share your experiences or thoughts about a topic? It could be what you do as a career, a topic you’re passionate about, or a unique take you have on a common problem. Something about the way you think could be immensely beneficial to someone else and yet you’re hesitant to share your take. Nervous to be more visible.
This is why it's so helpful to have a support system of people that can reflect your strengths and capabilities back to you when you’re unsure of your own impact. And, this is when exploring where this hesitancy comes from is necessary.
When I first began to do public speaking I wasn’t totally sure I was ready for it. But I could feel a level of excitement in my body that I couldn’t deny. In my head I started to hear all the times that people had reflected back to me how my words affected them, how they felt comfortable with my presence, and just how powerful my thoughts were for them.
The echoes of these sentiments gave me a palpable level of confidence that showed when I spoke, and yet, I carried a fear that somehow I still didn’t know enough. I carried stories about myself that came from somewhere and I wanted to find the origins of them so I could cut them out by the roots. So an active part of my own personal shadow work journey is to identify narratives that I carry about myself that “aren’t in my own voice”. This may likely apply to you as well. It means the narratives likely came from a friend, family member, or other influential source and were then taken on as truth.
It’s trash, I know. But once I realized it I could respond differently. When “not enoughness” tries to show up at my doorstep I know it’s fake news and I can address it so I’m not derailed from my course. Because the goal is not perfection, but it is progress and awareness.
Check and check!
If you don’t yet have a support system or network of people that you feel comfortable with, this is where you will be your own buddy. Start by giving yourself the honesty and encouragement that you will receive in time from those you connect with and create your desired community. I believe you deserve this and so much more. Don’t you agree?
When in doubt, be your own damn cheering section!
Sign #2: You crave true support.
Your connection to your intuition and inner knowing will always be one of, if not your biggest strength. You may now know it now, but your intuition knows your truth before you even think it. Your body can feel it before you have the concept laid out in your mind. Your inner compass will always point you to your true north.
If your intuition is telling you “yes…let’s do some shadow work” but your mind is like “aw hell naw”… know that this is simply fear of your greatness, not your deficits. In fact, people like to say that this is imposter syndrome coming up but I actually disagree. I shared my divergent opinion on it here that I’ve been shouting from the rooftops for years!
Starting something new can feel scarier than what we already know because it requires a change. Even if the change is good, it can still be really damn scary. Sometimes our bodies can register fear and excitement in the same way, so the physiological response can feel damn near the same. This came up for me when I was going through my coaching training. I carried fear about causing harm, yet I was so excited to be a part of helping others.
So when it would come up for me I would:
Reconnect with my purpose. Remember that my intentions came from a genuinely helpful and supportive place and that being a part of the solution is always the goal of my work.
Remind myself that falling short is not failure. Perfection is a tool of white supremacy and is not achievable. Progression is the goal and it requires experimentation and iteration. I was going to make mistakes and it was safe to do so because that meant I was actively trying and learning and willing to acknowledge where I could be better (and apologize if necessary). Then I…
Remembered when I was a beginner. I’ve been in the beauty industry for all of my adult life. And I damn sure didn’t start as a skilled stylist with great time management and people skills. I honed my craft over the years and always stay aware of where I can continue to grow and be better. It is possible to be better if I trust myself and allow my intuition to guide me to my own greatness in whatever way I am currently being called to it.
The reality is, even if it feels like the world could fall on you like Atlas decided he wasn’t going to carry it anymore, it very likely won’t. The chances are, you’ll be just fine. Your shadow work journey will make you better if you just let your inner compass steer you forth. Because you can do this.
I know you can.
Shadow work may feel unknown right now, but it is an opportunity for so much growth, exploration, and evolution. Find your courage, amplify it, and go right into it. Feel free to start small or go slow, but just keep going. The universe may even conspire to support you. Remember that reconnecting to your intuition allows your inner compass to direct you accordingly. If you’ve tried (or are actively trying) other tactics and you still feel a pull for something more, it’s likely shadow work inviting you to come along for a ride.than
Now here I’ll be a bit of a Debbie Downer and tell you that shadow work ain’t easy. But guess what? Not a whole lot in this life is. And that’s ok. Because the outcomes are more than worth the work for your own personal healing. You’ll encounter things in the shadows that could be difficult, even painful. But encountering them to process and release them is far more beneficial than allowing them to fester and unnerve you at the most inopportune times.
We ain’t got time for that kind of foolishness.
Take your time.
Give yourself grace.
Allow the experience to unfold so you can respond vs react.
Healing is rarely a linear journey, and the journey requires you to carry on for life. Because this is how we not only work on our own healing, but we partner with others in community and make healing a community effort. Especially since healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It begins with your personal self-exploration. Be patient, present, and open.
You got this!
I hope you feel more prepared and knowledgeable about your upcoming foray into shadow work for healing and self-exploration. If you’re experiencing any of those unsavory thoughts or feelings that want to throw you off the path, just keep in mind that this open curiosity is the first action on the path toward interdependent community. Want to learn more about this path and the 5 pillars that you’ll utilize on this path? Click here to read more in my free mini-course Who Is That?
Got a question? Drop me a line here.
Remember, stay open and enjoy the ride!
Erica