Pause On The Play Ep 27
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Hello. Welcome back to Pause on the Play. This is your girl Erica Courdae. It is amazing as always to see you here where you are challenged to examine your beliefs, question your predisposed notions, and consider realities you may be unfamiliar with in order to understand that they too are real. I am your host and conversation MC for the day here to get you going.
Erica Courdae: Hello. You are probably hearing my crazy voice and some background noise. We are here at She Podcasts. I just did my speech on showing up an imperfect allyship and it is amazing. So I am here and co-host India Jackson of Flaunt Your Fire is here with me. Hey, Indy.
India Jackson: Hey girl.
Erica Courdae: We are here. Oh my gosh, this is great. So She Podcasts is a female podcasters convention. We are down here in Atlanta. This is amazing. So it's been really ... I didn't know what to expect and what is kind of happening is this amazing space of women using their voices and there is just this openness to learn and to listen and to really just see what can happen. And I mean, I'm just loving this. What are you taking in so far?
India Jackson: Oh my gosh, what's really standing out to me as a conversation that we started on the podcast previously about how we came from the story that women can't be friends, women can't support each other. They're going to be catty. They're going to break each other down. And to be here and to see, what is it? 800 women all in the same space.
Erica Courdae: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
India Jackson: And everyone supporting each other and the rare occasion that you see someone who's like gorilla bro marketing, they stand out like a sore thumb because it is not the norm.
Erica Courdae: No.
India Jackson: It's mind blowing to see how people can come together and just achieve so much change, so much impact when we stand together shoulder to shoulder and put shit to work.
Erica Courdae: Amen to that again for the people in the back, in the cheap seats. I think it's really always such an amazing thing to me because again I do a lot of talking around DEI, diversity, equity and inclusion and imperfect allyship, which I brought today. And these aren't easy topics. Even when I talk about imposter syndrome, these are not small things. These are not always easily palatable and just seeing how many people either are coming up to me or are really thoroughly engaging in conversation with me in such an in depth and curious and inquisitive way of wanting to learn and wanting to know and wanting to just kind of expand where they are about things. And just, I mean, the dialogue is amazing and it's so easy to put yourself in this place to one think that women aren't supportive and we're not here for each other, but also just the fact that I'm talking about hard shit. And I have yet to have anyone that's like, "Oh, I mean, that's not me. I don't talk about those things. I'm not going to do that." And everybody's been very open, very receptive. And it's just been an amazing place to really just see what can happen when you choose to engage and you choose to have that conversation and you're just open.
India Jackson: And I want to give you guys some context too. Erica and I literally just wrapped up her being on stage and giving a presentation about imperfect allyship, which if you've been listening, you know that that's her thing. And it was just amazing to see the conversation happening in the room, to see people really just wanting to be an ally and to facilitate change. And not one person left, not one person opted out. It's interesting to just see everything that you've been working so hard on come together.
Erica Courdae: It is. And I couldn't be more grateful for the people that had the courage to not only come and stay, but then to come up to me afterwards and to engage me in conversation, to talk to me about things. And for me, it's extremely humbling and fulfilling to have someone say thank you and to feel comfortable to talk with me. And to say, "I just have a question and I feel like it's a stupid question." And I'm like, "I'm here. It's okay. You don't have to feel any way about it. This is an opportunity for you to talk with me." And I had a very engaged audience and I was really grateful for that as well. They could've just sat and looked at me like I had eight heads and been like, "Girl, I don't know what she talking about. I'm just in this room." And they were very open. They were very present. And all it does for me is just really validate that I'm doing the right thing and that talking about this and continuing to have a wider net to really just spread out this space to show up imperfectly. I mean, I couldn't be more excited to continue.
India Jackson: I definitely think that being here has been ... It's one thing to logically know something. It's another to emotionally feel it. Being here was an emotional feeling and just tied everything into the fact that if you are listening to this podcast, if you are on social media, if you have team members, if you're a supervisor, you have influence and power over how other see the world. You cannot take that for granted. You have to do something meaningful with it. And I think that when you own that, you can achieve so much. But I think it's the fact that sometimes we don't even realize how much power we have. And so we're not being intentional about what we're saying, what we're doing, and why. And being here with just a complete reminder to have that intentionality, know what it is you want to impact.
Erica Courdae: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that sometimes it's helpful to have that reminder because it can also be simple to go on autopilot and you just do for doing's sake. And it's very important to have that check in with what your ethics are. What are your beliefs? What are your values? What's your why? And I don't feel as though I was on autopilot. But I'll tell you what, the level of intentionality that I just walked out of that room with, being re-committed to continuing to be that person that says you are not doing this alone. You don't have to be afraid to ask questions and being in action imperfectly is not only okay, but advocated for. And that kind of check in is really important.
Erica Courdae: So if you're listening to this and you're hearing me talk about imperfect allyship and maybe you're at this point where maybe you are getting tired or you're just like, "I don't know if it's doing anything," you never know who it helped or who you impacted because it's kind of like that business concept. You can meet somebody and show up awesome. And maybe that person isn't the one that buys something from you or gets a service from you. But they might meet someone three months later and be like, "You know what? I know somebody. Let me send you their information or let me show you them online." You never know where your impact is going to hit. And I think it's very important to give yourself space to simply do it and trust that what you're doing has a huge purpose and it's all needed.
India Jackson: I agree 100%. I think it is so, so important to be aware that even if no one has ever said anything to you, people are paying attention to what you say, what you do, and how you live. And that can have influence on the choices that they make too. There were so many times that I was meeting somebody for the first time here and introducing myself and they're like, "I recognize you. I remember you from this,. I remember you from that." Or I would tell them about my amazing co-host Erica Courdae and the wonderful work that she does in diversity, equity, inclusion. And they'd say, "Oh yeah, we already follow her." And we're thinking-
Erica Courdae: We're like, "What?"
India Jackson: I'm thinking you don't know us. So it was just that reminder of there's more eyes on you than you think that there are.
Erica Courdae: Absolutely. And that's the thing. I mean, I think it's very easy to not get the validation and then assume that it wasn't received or nobody heard you. And that's not necessarily the case. It's really important to understand that you are doing because it's the right thing and that you are committed to being the change that you want to see. And it'll all take care of itself. It'll all land as it needs to, and it's just simply about being in action. And if you're moving forward and you're doing these things, it'll all happen. I can tell you. I didn't know that six months from now this is where I would be. But in this moment, there's nowhere else that I would rather be. I mean, this is the type of example that I want to set for my kids. This is what I want to show people is possible. If you choose to do something that you are passionate about and you're committed to and you know it's the right thing to do, I'm here for that reason. And it's not, oh, it makes me feel good. It's my ego. No, it's for the people that feel like their voice isn't heard. The people that feel like they're not being seen, the people that feel as though they are not as important, they're not as as as necessary. And I'm here to tell you that that doesn't have to stay that way and it can change.
India Jackson: And I want to just throw in one last reminder and that's that visibility and engagement are two different things. So if you are on social media and you are having conversations that matter, that are important to you, that facilitate change, just because somebody chose not to comment or to like doesn't mean that your message did not resonate with them. I find a lot of times people opt out of liking and commenting on things that resonate with them so deeply because they realize the value and they want to provide a valuable comment back. But they might be busy. They might be at work. So do not let that discourage you because we've had so many people say stuff to us about something that maybe we posted that they never commented on but they were watching.
Erica Courdae: Keep in mind, people are watching. People are listening. You are needed. You are necessary. So we will be back. We'll try to give you some more from She Podcasts. If not, we'll be back in our regularly scheduled space. Thanks, guys.
India Jackson: See you, guys.
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