Pause On The Play Ep 21

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Hello, hello, and welcome back to Pause On The Play. As always, it is amazing to see you here where you are challenged to examine your beliefs, question your predisposed notions, and consider realities you may be unfamiliar with in order to understand that they too are real. I am your host and conversation MC for the day, Erica Courdae, here to get the dialogue going.

So today I'm going to do something a little different. I am recording this with my children finally being gone for a second. I have had very little time without them over the past week, so it's been tough to find a quiet moment to record. Here I am. But, I use that as an opportunity to try something different. This week, what I want to do is, because we have some upcoming workshops, which I've talked about in some of the other episodes ... I have also talked about it on Instagram, and Facebook, and it's on our website, ericacourdae.com/courses. But what I'm going to do is with us having these courses coming up, these workshops, I want to actually go back a little bit to our very first conversation workshop. It was around a D and I in your marketing. I had a Stacey Harris of @thestaceyharris on Instagram with me. We had a really good conversation about it, and I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into what happens when we have workshops and kind of what the conversation can look like. I'll give you a little bit of the conversation that I had with my co-host Stacey and so you can kind of see what's happening.

Erica Courdae:                   I don't have any other conversation in here that I had with anyone that is a participant. I don't share that because that is a part of the ... having that safe yet brave space for you to show up in. So that only gets shared between those of us that are a part of those individual workshops. That does not go beyond that. What you're hearing is something that was between myself and my cohost. You can kind of see what the conversation looks like. I want you to imagine what it is when you're on the other side, and you're listening in, and you're hearing this, and what kind of questions does it spark for you. What does it make you think about? What does it make you say, "You know what? I think I do have questions. I think I have some things that I'm not clear on"? And kind of what comes up for you. So I'm give you a couple little snippets here, and then I'll come back. And again, take a little listen and really just think about what comes up for you.

Erica Courdae:                   For me, so much of what I do is around focusing on the diversity within diversity. It does not show up as any one thing. It doesn't show up in any one facet. So for everything today, a lot of it is really determining how you can demonstrate diversity and inclusion within your marketing from a place of intention and integrity. We're not doing that, then there's absolutely no point. Nobody wants to feel as though they're being pandered to or you're only doing it because you see dollar signs. This isn't something that is only to gain women, only to gain clients of color, only to gain anybody from any specific area that you are looking to build just to say that you did it. This is not to capital on the use of buzz words or to fake a feeling that is not in alignment with your culture, values, actions, and feelings. So if these are things that don't line up, it's going to come through.

Erica Courdae:                   So each time that we do a workshop, we kind of have a point, a goal, a topic, something that we are really focusing on. Whatever it is, I like to kind of start that conversation, but giving you that clear indication of what it is and even what it isn't. So here's an idea of kind of what that can look like when you're in the room and you're hearing that.

Erica Courdae:                   So the biggest thing for today is having the goal of having candid conversation to understand how diversity and inclusion intersects with your visual and verbal marketing. And I say that because those are two different things. They interact, they overlap, but they are different. And how this helps you to reach the people that you look to support and acknowledge.

Erica Courdae:                   Sometimes in the work I do, it comes up. What does this look like? How does this happen? How does this not happen? What is it to actually do this versus, oh, that doesn't need to happen at all? And this is a really good example of it. Because with marketing, you'll see people have the visual side, but then there's also the kind of written or what you would call spoken side. Sometimes that can kind of be misconstrued or it can sometimes kind of be done wrong. So here's a kind of an idea of that.

Erica Courdae:                   Because I think sometimes people can have this mindset of, oh, I'm talking to someone different so I have to talk differently, and that's not necessarily what that means. Now, if you're talking to someone, say, that it's gender fluid and you need to change your pronouns, that's a different conversation. But, this isn't something that needs to be based on misconceptions or stereotypes.

Erica Courdae:                   Misconceptions and stereotypes are the exact reason why what I do is something that exists and why it is a necessity. I think finding that place to address that yet not have it go awry is very, very important. I'm going to actually let my cohost from that particular conversation workshop, Stacey Harris of @thestaceyharris, tell you a little bit about kind of some of the things that she's seeing and how it can go wrong.

Stacey Harris:                     I think it's really interesting how often I think ... To pull this into specifically our marketing message, I think this is something we're seeing a ton of when we see people who are unsure of what their steps should be that they almost err. This is maybe not the best way to phrase this, but I feel like they're so paranoid that they're going to be offensive that they become offensive.

Erica Courdae:                   Yes.

Stacey Harris:                     They're trying so hard not to swing over here they wing themselves over here. Because I think that we often think that because we're looking to talk to, or work with, or connect with someone who doesn't look like us that we need to pander to the differences instead of realizing that we're ultimately all just people. We all want to be treated like we're people, not like some set of humanity that needs a special language. But, I think it's something we're seeing a lot in marketing as well is we think ... And I always think of ...

Stacey Harris:                     It was funny. I was watching a TV show the other day, and this came up for me. I was like, "Okay, so we put the one black woman on the show now and so we're diverse." I'm like, "But are you?"

Erica Courdae:                   And she's 100% right. Check the blocks are not what creates diversity, equity, nor inclusion. It is nothing but some type of smoke and mirrors that has convinced you that you have done the work and somehow made it better for someone, that only assuages your necessity for the cookies, or the attention, or the see-I'm-one-of-the-good-ones. We don't believe in it. We're not doing it here.

Erica Courdae:                   I'm actually going to give you one more little clip. This one actually goes into a concept that I've seen very often but I didn't realize that it had a name. When I learned the name for it and then actually saw it in practice, it's a very difficult thing. This is a good example of something that I talk about often in that concept of once you see it you can't unsee it. It's a good example of what it looks like when you begin to shift and change and you begin to realize that there's some real fuckery around you, and it needs to go away, and you no longer want to be silently complicit. So, here's your last clip.

Erica Courdae:                   That'll take me into another thing. There's this concept of ... And I'm going to call it what it's actually called. It's called the Magical Negro. What it is is it's a black person that they plug into any said show that does not experience character development of their own at their own peril in order to allow this main character or their focal point to have their expansion. Oh, I now realize that. It happens a lot, and I didn't know that there was actually a term for it. And when I did, I was like, "Oh, yeah. That's an actual thing, and it's bad." I have someone that I know that is in the film industry and he's like, "Yeah, it happens a lot, and it's a very common thing." That's where, for me, I think there's that trigger of you don't do this, insert black hand on a computer here, insert-

Stacey Harris:                     Exactly.

Erica Courdae:                   ... black person in front of the whiteboard that wasn't actually a part of anything, that you bought us a stock photo just to say that you did this because it does feel very inauthentic and it doesn't actually help you to service anyone that looks like that better because you don't understand why you did it. You don't understand what they need or how you're going to reach them. Where are they? What is it that they're looking for that maybe they don't know that you provide? Because I know that when I began learning what coaches were and figuring out what they provided and how comfortable I was in that concept. Because it took a while to kind of say, "So I'm paying somebody to tell me what to do?" which is what I thought. I now know differently.

Erica Courdae:                   That was fun. I hadn't really kind of gone back and listened to that episode in a while. It's really important to me to hear how powerful the conversations are that I'm having and how it can make impact, but it's also very important to me to have that opportunity to hear that my message is still ... I still have these same key points. I'm still talking about the same things. I'm still really encouraging the same types of behaviors, and shifts, and awareness, and that's really important to me. So as someone that has a brand and is really passionate about making a change, when you hear that continuity, that is what everything is about. It's huge. So that to me just really made it so much more important to continue the work that I'm doing.

Erica Courdae:                   So as always, I love to have you here. We do have upcoming workshops, which I'll tell you about in a little bit. But more than anything, I want you to really find one thing from everything that was said, one thing that somehow struck you or made you think, "I need to really consider that," whether or not it was the concept of the Magical Negro. It's the, hey, let's just stick this photo in here and this creates diversity, not, seeing where that's not okay. Or just simply being able to be in a place to where you can then say, "I can understand where I want to do things differently, where I want not do these things." Because sometimes learning what not to do is just as much, if not more, powerful than being shown what to do. So find that one thing from these clips that I showed you.

Erica Courdae:                   And mind you, this was a conversation that went about two hours total. So this is a very small snippet of what it really was and how much fucking magic came from it. Having you in the room is what really makes that magic happen, so I want you to know that I want you in the room. Again, ericacordae.com/courses. But more than anything, I just want you to know that you're here. You're listening. Thank you.

Pause On The Play is just one iteration of how I use conversation to create connection. My one-on-one calls is another. This is where you can get support on how your beliefs and values are showing up for you in life and in business, how you support and serve your clients with intention, how you are sharing your message to let people know that you curated a space with them in mind and that you want to talk with them and hold space for them to have a seat at the table. Hop on over to ericacourdae.com today and register for a tea time chat. These are the connection calls so I can further discuss your needs and create a plan of action with you that's personalized for your brand in order to further its evolution.

Hop on over to ericacourdae.com today, and register for a complimentary tea time chat. These are our connection calls, so we can hop on, discuss your needs, and create a plan of action that's personalized for your brand to further it's evolution.

The conversations we have here are to normalize the challenging things and make them a part of your normal exchanges. This is how we remove stigma and create real change and connection, cross lines and recreate boundaries to support, not separate.

If you enjoyed this podcast, show me some love by subscribing, sharing it with a friend, or leaving us a review. Reviews are the fuel to keep the podcast engine going. Let's get more people dropping the veil and challenging their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Speaking of keeping it going, if you don't already follow and engage with us over on Instagram @ericacourdae, come on over there and do that. I really want to talk with you, so DM me and let's do this.

I love being here and creating the bridge for you to walk over to become the change that you want to see. Join us next time, and until then, keep the dialogue going. Bye.

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Connect with stacey harris

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