Pause On The Play Ep 20
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Hello, hello and welcome back to Pause On The Play. As always, it is amazing to see you here where you are challenged to examine your beliefs, question your predisposed notions and consider realities you may be unfamiliar with in order to understand that they too are real. I am your host and conversation MC for the day, Erica Courdae, here to get the dialogue going.
So I had a few things that I've talked about recently and I felt like, as always, I like to bring them to you because if they're coming up in conversation then they're worthy of showing up here in conversation, and it's been around the word authenticity. Number one, this is a word that unfortunately is severely overused. So it can sometimes feel diluted. There's this place where if you take a word, it's just like the word love. If it's like, "Oh, I love that." It's used so much that the true weight of the word doesn't show up in the same way because, well, it's just thrown around with very little just thought about what it really does mean.
So I want to focus more on authenticity from a place of what does this mean for you when you're stepping into authenticity for yourself when you're stepping into showing authenticity in your business and simply finding a space so that there isn't such a big disconnect? It's very easy to say,
"Oh, this is what I do in my life, but this is what I do in my business."
And that can cause some conflicts because if you're not coming from place to where there's some alignment then there's probably something missing. If you live your life in a way of supporting charities or organizations that are built around diversity, that are built around inclusion and you in no way, shape, or form bring this into your business. Well, there's a disconnect. If you believe highly in supporting minority-owned businesses and really using your dollars to fund small businesses, but yet in your own business these things don't translate. You don't talk about them, you don't show it. You don't even act from that place in your own business. That's a disconnect. That is a lack of integrity. Ergo authenticity is missing. It's altered. It's filtered and watered down at best.
You don't want this. This does not help.
This has you living in a very disconnected space in which case you cannot serve from your highest good and the highest level of value,
but even more than that you're not coming from a place that you can be the best you for you because before you can serve anybody else you have to take care of yourself first. So if you're not aligning your message and your mission with the cornerstones of how you are in any way, shape, or form, well, it's very difficult for that to translate through and to really just breed that space for authenticity.
That disconnect means that somehow you're going to run into that, "Well, something just doesn't feel right and I don't know why." Or that, "I'm losing clients and I can't necessarily say why." Or, "I'm attracting clients and these aren't the people that I want." And this doesn't serve you. It never helps and while I do not advocate sharing or stepping into things from a visible place just to say that you did it, because that's just oversharing and that's shitty. Nobody wants to hear about stuff that you're just doing it because you think that that's what you should do. Stop shitting all over yourself with that and only do it if it serves a purpose, if it feels aligned, and if it's something that maybe has a history or a story with it or somehow is possibly painful or delicate for you. Make sure that it's healed.
So don't share something that you feel as though it's a little too raw just to say that you did it, but also if you're sharing things about your beliefs and your values and you're stepping into this, and really living these things out loud be willing to do it imperfectly. If you're waiting to do it when it feels perfect, when you know exactly how to do it, and, "I know that I got this." You're likely missing an opportunity to really make impact. Don't feel afraid to do the thing out of fear of doing it imperfectly. Imperfection is still action and done is better than perfect any day, because that waiting for this invisible time, this arbitrary date that doesn't really exist. That's just procrastination. That is just fear trying to tell you, "No, no, no. Not yet. We're not ready." Or, "Oh, no, no, no. We're not going to do that."
That's imposter syndrome. Go back to the very beginning of the podcast. Listen to the imposter syndrome episode that will talk about that, but don't wait because action is where you begin to get takeaways. That's when you start to realize, "Oh, okay, this now makes more sense."
That's where the evaluation pops up for you to actually see what's going on, feel where things are moving through you in a certain way, notice how your body is reacting.
You're getting takeaways. Now you can make adjustments. Now you can begin to get clarity on the what, the why and the how, but to simply not be in action out of, "I don't know if I really know how to do this right."
Fuck right. Right does not exist. Do it. Do not tell yourself the lie that there is only one way to do it and that it must be done perfectly in order to be valid. That is a lie. It is not true that there's only one way to do it and that it has to be done perfectly in order to be valid because the only way to figure out what valid does look like for you is to do the thing and then see what happens. Evaluate it, see exactly what's going on, how does it land, how is it resonating, and experiment, and try, and be willing to be in the messy middle when you are figuring it out. There's nothing wrong with figuring things out. There's nothing wrong with trying. It does not have to be done and cemented in stone in order for it to be worthy of seeing the light of day. In order for it to be worthy of being shared, and there is no such thing as you having to hit this point that doesn't happen in order to simply do anything because it is very important to note for yourself that that point does not exist.
That is simply trying to keep you playing small and there is never going to be a day that I am going to advocate for you to play small because that is not where growth and expansion lives. That is not where evolution lives. That is not where expansion lives. You don't become the next best version of yourself by playing small, by minimizing yourself or the opportunity to learn and to grow. Take the time to say, "What does this authenticity look like? What does it mean? What does it feel like?" And know that you're going to have to evaluate it more than once. This is not a one and done. It's going to come up again. So you might say, "Okay, I'm really just starting this and it feels like there's a lot of things going on. Maybe once a month I'll do a check-in."
You may feel like you need it more often. You may feel like a quarterly check-in is enough. You may feel like, "I've done a lot of work on this and I have a pretty good grasp on it. If check-in once or twice a year just to make sure that the visibility of what my authenticity looks and feels like is all aligned and everything is cohesive." Then okay, that's fine. You have to do what is best for you at the point that you're at. However, really being able to say, "What is authenticity for me? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How do I step into it? How do I live out? What does authenticity feel like for me?" That is extremely important and that is what I want you to consider today.
"What does living out authenticity for me look and feel like."
I want you to consider what does that mean for you? Allowing yourself the space for it to evolve, for it to move, for it to grow. It's a living, breathing entity and that is beautiful. That is perfect. That is aligned. That is exactly what should be, but I want you to begin by taking that statement, journaling on it, contemplating on it, having a conversation, taking any action today to simply begin to evaluate that for you and to start the ball rolling because there's never a thing that is going to support you that doesn't require you to start action now.
Pause On The Play is just one iteration of how I use conversation to create connection. My one on one calls is another. This is where you can get support on how your beliefs and values are showing up for you in life and in business. How you support and serve your clients with intention, how you are sharing your message to let people know that you curated a space with them in mind and that you want to talk with them and hold space for them to have a seat at the table.
Hop on over to ericaourdae.com today and register for a tea-time chat. These are the connection calls so I can further discuss your needs and create a plan of action with you that's personalized for your brand in order to further its evolution.
The conversations we have here are to normalize the challenging things and make them a part of your normal exchanges. This is how we remove stigma and create real change and connection, cross lines and recreate boundaries to support, not separate.
If you enjoyed this podcast, show me some love by subscribing, sharing it with a friend, or leaving us a review. Reviews are the fuel to keep the podcast engine going. Let's get more people dropping the veil and challenging their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Speaking of keeping it going, if you don't already follow and engage with us over on Instagram @ericacourdae, come on over there and do that. I really want to talk with you, so DM me and let's do this.
I love being here and creating the bridge for you to walk over to become the change that you want to see. Join us next time, and until then, keep the dialogue going. Bye.